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It’s official: Santa is real

As we open the first few doors on our advent calendars this year, isCompliant want to respond to some horrifying claims. Claims that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Come on. Really? Let’s look at the facts.

The Official Santa Tracker

NORAD, The North American Aerospace Defense Command, tracks Santa every year from 1 December until the very moment when he leaves presents and swipes the last mince pie from your own front room. Families can watch his flight in real time as he leaves presents for children across the globe. Now, this tracker isn’t just a clunky bit of software created by a yuletide enthusiast. Quite the opposite – NORAD’s job the rest of the year is to provide aerospace warning and control for the United States and Canada. It monitors man-made objects in space and detects potential attacks by aircraft, missiles and space vehicles. It’s only logical therefore, that NORAD keep a close eye on Santa’s journey, to assure other nations that’s what currently jingling across their airspace isn’t hostile – and should be left well alone. NORAD use their very best equipment on this crucial mission, too. Satellites, high-powered radar, and even jet fighters are employed to track the man in red, while 1,500 volunteers man the phones to answer enquiries about his whereabouts.

The Royal Mail

Every year, the Royal Mail receives hundreds of thousands of letters to Santa. They’ve been given the very special privilege of handling Santa’s Mail since 1963. To get through such a huge volume of letters, the Royal Mail have come together with Santa to provide a dedicated team made up jointly of elves and post office workers. Working side by side, they get children’s wishlists to Santa on time, and try to reply to as many letters as possible. The Royal Mail have even provided a page on their website where Santa can tell children where to send their letters. This year, he asks that all letters are posted to arrive with him by 9th December in order that he’s got time to choose and wrap presents. He says he’ll try to respond to all letters sent to him through the Royal Mail by this date, too. Get yours posted soon!

Conspiracy theories

We live in a sceptical age, where people will only believe something if they see it with their own eyes. Heck, conspiracy theorists even claim that man never walked on the moon (we SO did – read this). It’s no stretch of the imagination, then, that such sceptics will have a go at Santa, too. But the evidence of his existence is overwhelming. Santa arrives, every year, bang on time. He delivers presents that parents have neither the time nor the money to buy. Quite often, no one will even lay eyes on a letter to Santa except the man himself, so how could anyone know – except him – what to deliver? Newspapers have even published articles on the truth of his existence. The most reprinted editorial in any English-language newspaper is a heartfelt response to an eight-year old girl, worried that Santa may not be real. What more do you want?

The prevalence of fakes

Every year, Santa seems to appear everywhere. He turns up in garden centres, school Christmas fayres, Christmas markets and department stores – often at the same time. Children can be troubled by this, and worry that some, or all, may not be real. Well, kids, we believe you’re right. Frankly, the prevalence of these ‘other’ Santas provide overwhelming evidence for the existence of the real one. Santa Claus has got to source, choose and deliver presents to children across the entire globe on Christmas Eve night. A man with that task in hand simply does not have time to turn up at your local Dobbies to sit in a grotto all day. What these helpers are doing are simply freeing up Santa himself to get on with his proper job. His best helpers are those that attend official Santa schools, where they learn how to become proper ambassadors for Santa Claus himself, and how to gather valuable wishlist and behaviour information to inform his Christmas deliveries.

Academic proof

Now, let’s get to the science. Larry Silverberg at North Carolina State University has assured children worldwide by applying cool, hard logic to the question of Santa. Silverberg, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering, is a member of NASA’s Mars Mission Research centre. He’s a man who knows a thing or two, and says this: “Children shouldn’t believe others who say he isn’t real because there’s no way he could deliver toys all over the world in one night. There is a way, and it’s based on plausible science.” Silverberg suggests that Santa actually uses elements of Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity to get round the globe on time. “In [Santa’s] reference frame, times moves much quicker than in our own … he sees us basically frozen. He doesn’t even need to hurry. He has all the time in the world.” Silverberg’s theories are detailed – you can read more of them in this book.

So, get with it. No more of the ‘Bah humbug’ nonsense. Even Scrooge worked it out eventually. Santa is real. And always will be.

‘Nuff said.

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